My Big Sister

Yesterday, I told my older sister that I’m gay. I had called to talk about moving, as we’re moving in together at the end of the week… It was a bit off-the-cuff, but the timing just felt right. She was shocked [and still is], but she said that she loves me and wishes could have been there for me. She promised not to tell my parents

I had wanted to tell Shawna for years. I got so close, so many times. I’m glad I worked up the courage to just go for it. She seemed slightly offended that I told our Grandma and Aunt Tannis before her, but she’ll get over it I’m sure.

I made sure to assure my big sister than I do not find her boyfriend at all attractive, so he’s all hers [we’re all moving in together]. I’m not sure if she was offended or relieved. 

The day prior, I talked to my roomie-bestfriend Jose about when I would tell her. I was planning on it within the next two weeks. When I texted Jose about telling Shawna he replied “When you said 2 weeks, I said to myself “tomorrow.” That guy knows me too well.

Shawna and I are going for coffee later today to talk about things more.

Things I Can’t Talk About

My parents don’t know I’m gay (though really they should know without me telling them). Since coming out, I have been especially distant; this weekend I’m going home for Easter dinner.

Things I can’t talk about:

1. Ezra, Michael, and Craig, my pseudo-suitors
2. How absolutely fabulous Diana Vreeland’s Memos are
3. My friend Lawrence who died (who was also gay) this week
4. How I’ve been so exhausted this semester that stuff like filling out a doodle poll leaves me exhausted 
5. How I dropped two courses this semester
6. My new (this year) best friend Jose, also my roommate, who is gay
7. How everyone in the Student Government and my College Council are basic bitches who’ve got something else coming
8. How its awkward to run into past hook-ups in public
9. That I spent $250 on two (incredible gorgeous) shirts a couple of weeks back
10. How I really want a pauldron (shoulder armor) tattoo
11. How I might lose my scholarship

I’ve never been close with my family, so it shouldn’t be difficult. I just hate having to censor myself.

Note: most of the items in above list warrant posts of their own. Consider these forthcoming.